Disclaimer: Words may fly, and I will be bitching, if you don't want to read that, then please click the back button on your browser.

Where to begin, thank you lord I have the fucking internet now, this is well overdue.

This townhouse is simply gorgeous, but no I am still not unpacked. I will probably never get unpacked at this rate, I honestly am tierd of being the only one to do have to figure out where to sort everything, hence the reason i'm always trying to sell you something via fbook or text msg. I have like a closet full of shit that I need out of my life, sorry if you don't want the shit just say so. And I'm so sick of everyone saying I want that but I can't afford it, well no shit sherlock, I want a lot of shit I cant afford but I don't expect people to hold it for weeks on end. Come on now, thats rediculous.

I'm so sick of everyone saying I can't afford to buy this plush luxery item, ya know I'm sick of not being able to buy groceries! For the first time since we moved in here, I went grocery shopping, and guess what now I can't pay the rest of my bills, go fucking figure, food or electric, I'm tierd of making the choice. Cal works a stupid lame ass job that is getting him no where, and at the looks of it, I'll be part time from now til eternity. I guess i gotta find that second job I was so tierd of having to sort between the two, but I can't make ends meet only working pt hours. It seems like I'm always a little no body where I work, I try to take on everything I can, and learn shit as fast as I can, but I never move anywhere. What is with this stupid repetition. I just want freaking health ins for once. I would like to be able to go to the dr when im sick, instead I have to suffer through it because I cant afford anything else.

I would really like the fucking smoke detector to quit chirping that is driving me fucking nuts. Oh ya, I don't have any batteries.

I wish people would stop judging my life, ya know sometimes you have to do something for you, yeah I got a new cell phone. Whaaawhoooo but ya know, I paid for it, I cashed in all the time i've worked the last 7 years I think that qualifies to buy myself something once in awhile, Its not like there is even going to be a fucking xmas this year, everyone is so happy and chipper yay its the holidays ya, well trying being in the boat you cant afford to celebrate the holidays, I don't want to put our tree up, hell I havent even looked at the hallmark ornamets I love to buy becasue they are for a piece of my life and whats happened int he last year, but oh wait i can't afford them. Everyone has a xmas wish, but mine are pointless to list even the small shit bc i know i cant realistically get any of it and I can't afford to buy anyone else anything, but I know I will. every year, its the same.

I don't know anymore. I feel like no one understands, hell I doubt anyone will even read through this shit this much. But whatever.

Ya know the topping of the cake I'm sick of fucking crying, how many times can I say this in a month, its getting old. Im so fucking done with everything. I don't think theres any aspect in my life that doesnt make me cry anymore. I don't have any friends I can hang out with, they are always too busy, too broke, or expect me to pick thier asses up, some friends huh. I don't have any money I can go out, or just go do something! My husband doesn't give a rats ass about anything, he doesn't even begin to see how much he hurts me and pushes me away, But thats what hapens hes 21 and doesn't get what its like to actually be loved, ya know I'm sorry you never had that growing up, but you're about to lose it this time. He never wants to grow the fuck up, im so sick of it. I did not give birth to you, stop actng like a child, I'm not your mom and im sick of treating you like a little kid. You straiten up for a whole day then the next day its the same shit over and over. Ya know I don't like waking up to your alarms at 430 in the morning, and then you still are sleeping at 530 get the fuck up, and don't make me wake up, I don't give a shit if you get to work on time anymore. I really don't i didn't have to get up til 9 and look oh thats 5 hours early and im still awake. Fucking joy, I guess I'm going to be a peach at work today. Oh wait I don't care, because everyone in arnold likes to bitfch and moan about everything. I swear the next person that comes in bitching to me about something i didn't do or I have no way to fix I'm going off on. I'm so tierd of it. Everyone always riding my ass for the shit I cant fix. If its not my fault don't come to me! If you wouldnt sit on your glasses they wouldnt break, but somehow thats my fault your arm breaks off when you pick your ass up off them. UGHHHH I'm so fucking done.

I doubt you read this far. Peace